Saturday, 15 January 2011

Baggage – Emotional and Otherwise…

It is the eve before I depart the world that I have fashioned for myself and relocate to a hospital bed. For the past two and a half months I have, in effect, been designing my ideal surroundings, choosing the parts of the outside world that I consider beautiful, humorous, interesting, spiritual or indubitably necessary. These judgements have even extended to selecting the people who could enter my haven. Each day would replay itself with only slight variations in the dramatis personae, and it was these variations that carried the ability to disport me away from the trepidations that lingered within.

How can one decide which are the core elements of their world that hold all the other pieces together? It is these items that I must pack for my voyage. These are the components that will prevent me from collapsing and letting the nightmares take over. These are the molecules I will so desperately require and yet I offer no solutions as to what those molecules are. I am at a loss as to what to pack emotionally. I need only remain strong for two more days and then all the fears regarding surgery will dissipate. Thenceforth it will be a challenge that awaits, a competition each day to exceed the achievements of the previous day, the quest I have long been awaiting.


  1. My prayers are with you.

  2. 'Enjoy convalescence. It is the part that makes the illness worth while.'
    George Bernard Shaw
    Enjoy your convalescence, you've earned it. Looking forward to hearing good news soon. x

  3. I hope that the hospital improves and that the fears regarding surgery really do dissipate. I don't know if anyone can be prepared emotionally for everything. I hope you are pleasantly surprised. I wish I could control the people in my life (but, I fear, that might be offensive since the circumstances would probably be unenviable). I wonder if they control visitors in jail, or if you have to see them. Anyway...good luck!

  4. Just pack the alphabet. Take your letters with you, where ever you go. All 26 of them. (Does the English language have the same amount as the Dutch language has?) As long as you've got them, you can make words. And sentences. And blogs.
    Maybe a recording device you can whisper your thoughts into when you can't reach a keyboard?
    Take your memory too, and remind yourself that we're here, waiting for you.



  5. Sending you all the positive, happy, healing wishes that I can. Share them out between you, your family, your surgeon and nurses! Elaine.

  6. I have just been alerted to your blogs Sophie- how wonderfully written they are. I am officially on board the evidently massive 'Go Sophie' following! You will do great tomorrow, I know it.

    Oh and you were ever so missed in the Lakes, sure ill see you sometime soon though

    Oh and Stephen Fry- wow!

    love Lewis

  7. My thoughts and good wishes are with you! If there's one thing I truly believe in, then it's that everything will be alright in the end. So far, this faith has never failed me and I have enough of it to cover for you as well.
    Best and only the best regards,
    E. x

  8. What a pure voice you have-thank you for the gift of your blog.